# Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different
screen than the one it's set up with.

# Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream:
"Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

# When your computer is turned off, complain to the supervisor that you
can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5
minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.

# Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

# Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled
by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

# Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret FBI files.

# Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray,
"Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!"
when it finishes.

# Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you,
whether you know them or not.

# If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Thong Song"
whenever there is processing time required.

# Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the disk drive.
When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

# Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done
(two days later) say that all you wanted was a line or two.

# If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them,
and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

# Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this.
Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

# Attempt to eat your computer mouse. (LOL!) Or use it
as a peddal on the floor. (our note)

# Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me,
mind if I borrow this for a sec?" unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.

# Play Solitaire for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

# Stare at your neighbor's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing and say
"You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

# See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like
you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance
to figure out you're a total stranger.

# Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen.
Complain that the lead doesn't work.

# Come into the computer lab wearing several extra-stinky species of flowers
in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily exclaim:
"You're such a marvel!" and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence.
As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor,
the computer assistant, and then walk out.

# Run into the computer lab, shout, "The Apocalypse is here!"
then calmly sit down and begin to type.

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